|
Ethan's wife was sharp of tongue |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
And sharp of knife was she |
[Beefy] |
|
Like Bobbitt, now his head is hung |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
Like Job, his heap's composed of dung |
[Francine] |
|
He lives within an iron lung |
[Beefy] |
|
Out back - where none may see
|
[Kansas Sam]
|
|
Ethan asked for a divorce |
[Francine] |
|
"Divorce me now!" she cried |
[Beefy] |
|
"But I want custody, of course, |
[Will H] |
|
"Of Max, the wooden rocking horse |
[Francine] |
|
That trampled you without remorse |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
When last you took a ride."
|
[Karin]
|
|
"With Max," cried he, "I'll never cleave!" |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
For cleaving is a crime |
[Beefy] |
|
Provoke me not with that baguette |
[Grayman] |
|
Lest I should dance a minuet |
[Francine] |
|
Before the pink blancmange has set |
[Beefy] |
|
Ethel paused and wept into her sleeve.
|
[Will H]
|
|
Ethan hung his head in shame |
[Beefy] |
|
And bit his lip, then hers |
[Francine] |
|
She shuddered, and cried out a name |
[Beefy] |
|
"Fernando! He's the one to blame." |
[Will H] |
|
Whose portrait, in a gilded frame, |
[Francine] |
|
Hangs halfway up the stairs [n.b. Ethel is from Liverpool]
|
[Beefy]
|
|
"I'll hang you halfway up!" cried he |
[Francine] |
|
And began to tie a noose |
[Karin] |
|
With no loose ends; he was tidy |
[Francine] |
|
Then Ethel sobbed: "Woe betide me" |
[Beefy] |
|
As Max neighed, "You'll no longer ride me?" |
[Francine] |
|
So Ethan cut him loose
|
[Beefy]
|
|
When Ethan's mother came to call |
[Francine] |
|
Her face was white with shock |
[Kansas Sam] |
|
She cried: "Have you no sense at all?" |
[Beefy] |
|
Ethan laughed at her deathly pall |
[Karin] |
|
And screwed some hooks into the wall |
[Francine] |
|
Then restrained Mum with a lock.
|
[Karin]
|
|
After several weeks went by |
[Francine] |
|
The pair went round the bend |
[Beefy] |
|
The best place for them both, I say |
[Grayman] |
|
Though Ethan's disowned brother, Ray, |
[Francine] |
|
Arrived too late, to his dismay, |
[Beefy] |
|
And did not comprehend |
[Francine] |